december self portrait

Over the past couple of years, I've had very hard feelings about showing my face on camera due to previous experience and circumstances. I am going to make a point to photograph myself at least once a month until I can become comfortable with this idea again. I think portraiture and self portraiture is a very nurturing thing when it is expressed with much care and genuine concern for the person being photographed, even if it is staged. It can boost confidence and let a person see themselves as they are really seen by others, not how they portray themselves, which is so often a lie.

Portraiture used to be one of my favorite types of photography to perform, but recently I have felt (both in myself and my subjects) the negative sides of forced portraiture, denial or fear of the camera, or portraiture that is used in an exploitive way. I've been very worn down and exhausted by these ideas, and I'm ready to try to find that place again, where people want to be photographed and I can photograph them with ease. A place where people will share their soul through their eyes. To me, this is most important.

I want to try my best to re-define myself through the eyes of the camera and recreate some positive Light around this topic. I am a slow healing person: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, so coming to this side of the camera with Love has been quite a step. I know if I can get this right within myself, I can again get it right with other subjects.