christmas (last year)

Due to recent family events, I've decided to keep the lens away from the faces of my family members this Christmas, but here are some images from last year...

a portrait of my sister in joplin

I haven't been shooting as much as I should during December due to family events and Christmas activities, so I decided to post a few photos of my sister from earlier this year. These were taken after the Joplin tragedy. I wanted to just go photograph the rubble, but after talking to my sister about it, we decided to try a small shoot in which I portrayed her as some type of angel character. Its taken me a long time to go back to these photos, and I haven't fully decided what I want to do with the ones that do not include my sister. This is the first time I've photographed something like this so its taken me a long time to decide how to portray it. This set of photos is more about her rather than Joplin.

figure drawing I

Not many people know that I like to draw... I don't mention it when I talk about my work and I don't think of myself as a charcoal or pencil artist at all. But everyone once and a while I get an itch to push around some dust or lead and usually its coupled with my interest in figure. Here are a few drawings I recently created...

december self portrait

Over the past couple of years, I've had very hard feelings about showing my face on camera due to previous experience and circumstances. I am going to make a point to photograph myself at least once a month until I can become comfortable with this idea again. I think portraiture and self portraiture is a very nurturing thing when it is expressed with much care and genuine concern for the person being photographed, even if it is staged. It can boost confidence and let a person see themselves as they are really seen by others, not how they portray themselves, which is so often a lie.

Portraiture used to be one of my favorite types of photography to perform, but recently I have felt (both in myself and my subjects) the negative sides of forced portraiture, denial or fear of the camera, or portraiture that is used in an exploitive way. I've been very worn down and exhausted by these ideas, and I'm ready to try to find that place again, where people want to be photographed and I can photograph them with ease. A place where people will share their soul through their eyes. To me, this is most important.

I want to try my best to re-define myself through the eyes of the camera and recreate some positive Light around this topic. I am a slow healing person: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, so coming to this side of the camera with Love has been quite a step. I know if I can get this right within myself, I can again get it right with other subjects.

beautiful mold III

more mold...

a few from the road

i shot just a bit on the way back from a visit with my sister. i liked these.

hooves and eyelashes

over the summer, my mom and i went through one of those animal parks where the animals come up to the car. after going through my shots, i noticed that i had a common denominator... thought they might be fun to show together.

beautiful mold II

sometimes decay is beautiful...

dew drops

coffee stains

Everyday, when I come home from work, I find little coffee stains on the counter and on the floor left by my lover and the dripping coffee pot that morning. I can't say that I mind them. They are a reminder that he got out of our bed that day. After being in a long distance relationship for 4 and a half years, this thought is very comforting.  Even though I need a clean counter space before I start cooking dinner, I recently decided that this little feeling needed to be recorded.